18: Called out

Wow. So many things to say and so little time has passed! The Lord is just constantly equipping me and speaking me through many different avenues. This time, it happens to be through podcasts and, yet again, my daily devotional. (Is it starting to freak anyone else out how perfect they are? Every...single....day...?)

First off, I'll talk about the podcast I listened to yesterday. It is Fr. Mike Schmitz, and he posts his homily from each Sunday, and I'll usually listen to it while I'm running. I feel like I need to listen to it again actually and take notes. But just from what stood out to me while half-running half-listening:
He was talking about St. Ignatius of Loyola and his tips for discernment. Not necessarily discerning vocations, but just discerning between two goods. In my case though, it does happen to be between married and religious life. It was just really good to be reminded of all the different ways I have already discerned and what I have already received through it. However, nothing really was ever made very clear in all the discernment I have done in the past. I feel like with me, there were always hints here and there, and things that I felt, but I had to make a choice. I had to be the one to choose. And I was always kind of unsure if that was ok. But the main thing that stuck out to me, was toward the end of the podcast, when Fr. Mike said that if you are still unsure after doing all these various types of discernment, to think to the end of your life, and what do you want to give God? What do you want to have done and say "I did this for You"?

Definitely a great question. And definitely really makes you think!

The second, is that devotional book. That thing speaks directly to my heart all the time. The book is written as if it is Jesus speaking. It started off talking about how "you" (the reader) have been on an uphill battle and your energy is spent. (I'm like...yes seriously) Then it said how pleased "I" (Jesus) am that you have been holding my hand through this and stayed close to Me (oh cool! feeling pretty good). Then He lowered the bomb. He is displeased with my tendency to complain. I can go to Him as much as I want with my complaints, struggles, etc. but I should stop complaining to other people. He wants me to run to Him as soon as something seems wrong.

BAM. Called out. So from now on, you will hear (hopefully) no complaining out of me. I know I kind of unloaded the other day, but that was a really exhausting day for me. Still though, He is making it clear that I need to turn to Him first and tell Him what my troubles are. I guess He can't really fill me as much as I need if I am not running to Him first and foremost.