20: Interview 2!

Well I have now completed my second interview! This one took longer than the first, and probably could have been even longer if we hadn't made ourselves speed up toward the end. Like I thought, this one was on faith history and discernment history. I could honestly talk about these topics for hours, since the Lord has done so much, so that is probably also why it took longer. And sister and I were both very chatty ;)

I really enjoyed this interview because the questions prompted me to remember and really think about all the good that Lord has done in my life, and especially how much mercy He has shown me. I was able to look back on time where His providence was so clear, and where His timing was always perfect. It was a good reminder for where I am right now. I also had to try very hard not to be too guarded. I usually don't like to be too open about really intimate parts of my prayer life, but I was asked questions that required it. I sometimes am afraid to voice these things. It really stretched me though, and forced me to really speak from my heart and say how I feel about my discernment, and how I really feel about Jesus and being a sister. If I didn't speak up then and open up, there wouldn't be another chance. 

The one question though that has stuck with me and is still making me think was the last one of the interview: "If for some reason we discern that you are not called to this community, what would you do?" .....

And honestly, I don't know what I would do. I haven't really planned for that... but I guess I should. I just answered that I would probably just keep doing what I am doing now and work for the Capuchins and see where the Lord takes me. But I would be sad.

And I really think I would be sad. Unless the Lord drastically changes things for me in the months to come, but I don't know that I would be able to move on without feeling a sense of loss. I know it would be according to His will though, and that is something I need to be OK with: following His will no matter what it may be. So I guess I really should think about my plan B if I don't get accepted. I'd move out and get an apartment, probably get a new car if mine craps out by then, and just work and do whatever else I'm doing now. I guess I could get more involved with young adult groups in my area  and maybe meet some new friends... but who knows. It is good to have a general idea, but I don't need to be thinking specifics about the future just yet. The Lord is already there.