NCYC

I was privileged this past weekend to attend NCYC (National Catholic Youth Conference) in Indianapolis. There were about 23,000 teens there, and it was so beautiful and inspiring to watch them transform throughout the conference. I felt more alive and more purposeful than I have felt in a while. That is exactly what I love doing. Not only do I just love that kind of atmosphere (awesome speakers, fun music, craziness...), but I love working with teens. I'm so glad I was able to attend because I feel as though it invigorated me as much as it did them. And of course, the whole time I was thinking and praying about my vocation. There was a 'chapel' room, and there was a prayer labyrinth that you walked through, and you are supposed to think of a question or thought to 'ponder' and talk to God about, and then once you get to the center, you reflect for a bit. I decided it would be a good idea for me to do this, so I started slowly walking along the twisting path before me. As I was reflecting, I was thinking about my vocation in relation to the labyrinth. The path was very winding, and I couldn't tell where it ended up connecting to the center. So too in my vocational journey, the path seems to be very crooked, and I can't always see how it connects, or how I get to the end. It takes trust to continue walking, not knowing how many times I'll have to walk in circles, or how long it will take me to get to the center, of if I'll ever even make it there without going insane! And even though by the time I got to the center, I still didn't know what conclusion I had been lead to, but I know that I got there. It really just made me remember to trust that there is an 'ending' to this path, even though I may not see it. I won't be walking in the labyrinth forever. I just need to remember that, either way, Jesus is at the center of it all, and I just need to keep walking the path toward Him. He will reveal my heart to me as I continue walking.

I did talk to Fr. Gregory though about all of these questions I have been having, and he told me to just keep on asking Jesus to help me answer them, and to write things down. So I might be doing a lot of 'thinking through things' on this blog. In the meantime though, he wants me to continue on in the process, and told me that I should never make big decisions during periods of confusion. He also said I need to step back from my emotions, so I need to do my best to do so. (Being an INFP, that will be a stretch haha). He wants me to briefly talk to Sr. Della Marie about it so that she is aware, and maybe could give me some insight. Otherwise, I am to wait til I meet him text before really deciding anything. So currently, I am staying on this path and just praying for clarity and healing. There is a ton of healing that needs to happen, more than I realized. And so the purification continues....