8: Come and See

April, 2013 

It was around mid-April that I had set aside a week to spend at the TOR Sister's Motherhouse, living their day-to-day lifestyle. I was both nervous and excited for this trip: nervous that I wouldn't last the week yet conversely excited to go back to such a peaceful, joyful place. (I know, I was a confused soul! But the Lord takes us as we are!)

I arrived on a Saturday and stayed til that Thursday evening. The week was spent getting up at 5am, praying, doing various ministries, praying some more, and having some fun, and being in bed by 9:30. I struggled of course in the wee hours of the morning during Holy Hours, when I would be so comfortable in the Lord's presence that I had to remind myself that I was indeed not in my bed so I had to remain awake! It would take time for anyone to adjust to that schedule. The sisters do most of their daily work/chores in silence, which was not a problem for me because I actually prefer that (I'm an introvert...what can I say?), but they did allow me to ask them questions and chat a little because I was on a come-and-see to learn more about them. This was very nice to get to know a few more of the sisters individually. I got to clean the chapel one day which was actually a very prayerful experience. I got to clean the Lord's house for Him. I also went to a nursing home one day, which is always a difficult ministry for me and something that will definitely be a challenge should I enter this community. But the Lord is always calling us to grow and stretch our selves!

Another day was spent at the Samaritan house downtown where I did work on mission. This was a great joy because I have always loved the store and being with the people there. Wednesdays are 'hermitage days' for the sisters, so that means they have a lot of free time dedicated to prayer and silence. I read some books and enjoyed the grounds. I also helped one of the sisters prepare their retreat house for a retreat they were to be hosting that upcoming weekend for women who have had abortions. This was a profound experience for me because, after learning a lot about the retreat and being so moved by what was to take place there, I was able to pray for those women that would be present and walking the floors I was cleaning. I was truly humbled to be able to prepare a place to provide them with healing and comfort.

The last evening I was at the Motherhouse, one of the sisters and I planted seeds in their garden (seems appropriately spiritual...). I remember planting a whole slew of sunflower seeds, even though we were not sure if they would grow or not. For those of you who don't know, I LOVE sunflowers. Jesus has told me that He sees me as His sunflower because no matter the soil, no matter the circumstances, I always turn to face the Him, just as a sunflower always faces the sun. Pretty powerful imagery, and definitely hard to live up to sometimes!

So what did I experience this week?

• Peace. It was almost uncanny how peaceful it is there. I have never experienced anything like that. But I think it is impossible for anyone to go there and not feel peace!
• Joy. Being with the sisters was truly a joyful experience. They are probably the most joyful women I know, and their joy is contagious. 
• Sacrifice: Through the sisters' fasting and penance, I got to experience the beauty of suffering for the sake of His kingdom. Not suffering in a dark way, but suffering in the way of love and for Love.
• Poverty: The sisters do without so many things that I would never have even thought of, but it was extremely liberating to be rid of those worries and worldly things.