9: Summer: marriage vs. religious life

Summer 2013

At this point in my discernment, I felt like I did all I could do. I gave the Lord as much as I had in me. I was still unsure as to what my vocation would be, but I felt at peace that I had gave it my best effort and at least considered all of my options. I really was at a place of contentment with whatever the Lord's will would be. I knew that either way, religious or married life, I would be happy. This is a very good place to be during discernment, because it is not good to be attached to any single vocation, so to allow the Lord to work however He pleases.

Getting to this point was not easy. For a while, I was extremely attached to married life: being afraid of what religious life would bring, what I would have to give up, etc. Then after I started really looking at religious life, I became extremely attached to that idea. I wondered how the Lord would ever not want me to be a religious? How could He not want me all for Himself? I was looking at marriage as a lesser vocation because I was swinging to the other extreme of the pendulum. I thought the only way I could truly be holy was to become a sister, and I couldn't understand why God wouldn't want everyone to live those vows. Obviously, I had skewed perceptions of each vocation, and it took some time and further questioning to come to a point where I could see the value and sanctification of each vocation. Here is my analysis:

Married life: This is a beautiful and extremely sanctifying vocation. It is a daily laying down of your life for another and a constant giving of your entire self. Especially if children enter the picture, you are constantly there to give to and serve your family. You are also responsible for their souls and helping them enter heaven! You get the opportunity to create life and raise your children to become saints :) Marriage is hard, requires a lot of work, but it has so many beautiful rewards. The Church needs holy and married saints, and the family life needs to be preserved and fought for.  

Religious life: Again, a beautiful and sanctifying vocation. It is not a sacrament, but rather a living out of what we will all be living in heaven. Living poverty, chastity and obedience would be difficult, but also very rewarding and the Lord will give you the grace. There may be times where it is really difficult. You get plenty of prayer time and opportunities to serve His people. While it may be hard not to have a family, you will have more time to dedicate to prayer and have the opportunity to be a Spiritual Mother and care for the souls of all of God's children.  

So there you have it. This is the place of contentment I had come to. I came to a better understanding of what was expected in each vocation (not completely because I can't really know without experiencing it), but it brought me to a place of freedom to allow the Lord to do with me as He willed.

<>If you purify your soul of attachment to and desire for things, you will understand them spiritually. If you deny your appetite for them, you will enjoy their truth, understanding what is certain in them.- St. John of the Cross