Day 3: The Phone Call

It was now mid-July, 2013. The Lord was definitely moving in my heart. The idea of religious life gradually crept it's way into my consciousness. I decided I loved Jesus so much, that I wanted to show Him that I would be willing to do anything for Him, even 'check out' religious life. I really had no intention of ever actually discerning it, but I wanted to at least show Jesus that I would give Him everything.

One of my best friends happened to be going on a discernment retreat with the TOR sisters (if you're reading, you know who you are!) in the middle of September and suggested that I consider going with her. At first I was hesitant, but then I figured why not? I was at a different place in my spiritual life, and it would be a good way to practically show the Lord my devotion. I kind of put it off for a while, and eventually forced myself to fill out the vocation inquiry form on the TOR sister's website. Sister Della Marie (whom I now love), the vocation directly, promptly emailed me back the next day and wanted to set up a time to chat. Welllll, me being me, I was reluctant to do this is as well, so I played hard to get for a little, and then I went on vacation to the beach for a week, and then we finally set up a time to talk on the phone.

[At this time too, I had also finished praying a novena to St. Anne for my future husband. This was suggested by praymorenovenas.com and so I decided to pray it and just see what would happen (surprise, surprise, he didn't appear out of thin air). But clearly I was still on the "I'm definitely getting married" train. Also, this novena is significant, so keep it in mind for later.]

So the day arrived when I was supposed to call Sr. Della Marie. I thought I was going to vomit, I was so scared. I called, it rang...and rang....and voicemail! Score! I quickly left a message and then hung out with one of my friends while I was waiting. It didn't take long before Sr. called back, and I took a deep breath and answered the phone to the call that would haunt (in a good way) my thoughts forever.

After answering a few routine questions that Sister asked about how far along I was in my discernment etc., I asked her a question that was probing at my heart. What are some signs or things that people feel when they are called to religious life? And to this day, I could not tell you a word that she said. All I know is that as soon as she started talking, my heart was racing, my breathing was accelerated, and I felt like she had just opened up my soul and was reading it like a book (I learned later from a spiritual director that this was a "Holy Spirit" moment). I sat there stunned, not even knowing how to respond, so I simply said "Ok thanks". I sat there speechless trying to process what had just happened. I was not expecting to react in such a dramatic way. She said the vocation retreat for September was already full, but she would let me know if there was a cancellation, and that was that. But I knew deep down in my heart, that there was no way I was not going on that retreat. I was definitely supposed to be there, and I was going to go.

"the LORD came and stood there, calling out as before: Samuel, Samuel! Samuel answered, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”" -1 Samuel 3:10